I had this volunteer opportunity at a very nice hospital and hoped I wouldn’t get the call back, and then my therapist was like, this will good for you, you should do it regardless of if this is the field you want to go into, and now they called and said my email is like, wrong or something, and they can’t get through, and I tried calling them back but it just keeps ringing every time and now I’m actually worried that I won’t get the position.
Be careful what you wish for.
Ugh. I just always feel like there are things I should be doing in order to keep pace with the people around me, and I’m really not doing anything, and I haven’t gone to class in a week, and I’m so over-weight right now, and all I want to do is get drunk and cry and I’m just not excited about living at all.
I don’t want medication.
So. My mom has spoken at several conferences about self harm over the years. Because of this, people within education know her name locally. EMU called her and asked if she would like to make and teach a one time class on self harm; 6 hours and $1,000. Of course she is taking this opportunity. She also gets paid to make up the entire course because it’s the first of it’s kind, type of thing.
She came up to me yesterday, “I have 6 hours to fill, I was wondering if you would be interested in being a guest speaker. Only if you think you’re comfortable with it though. And of course I’d cut some of the cash with you.”
So I don’t know. Part of me thinks it could be helpful and therapeutic, and I’d be getting cash money for just talking… But then again like, it’s one of those things about me that everyone knows but no one talk about so I’d be telling this lecture hall full of kids something very personal and private about me. I D O N T K N O W.